Pretend You Are A Surgeon and I am Stupid

Dear Lionel,

You spotted me from across the room as I sat on that bar stool, enjoying my drink and people watching.  Such a clever fellow.  You came and stood next to me and pressed your backside into my thigh while you talked to a lady friend.  Really, there was no need to be so “cozy” as there was plenty of room.  I inched away and you pressed closer.  I thought that was interesting but wasn’t concerned.

Your friend left and you turned to me and turned on the charm.  Relentless pursuit.  Four dances, big smile, handsome, nice biceps…then you let me know, mid dance on the first dance, that we could really have something great between us!  That you had a thing for mature women who were confident and sexy. Oh my!  That something between us that you had in mind was your hard dick and an agenda, no doubt.

To reel me in you boldly stated that you were a surgeon.

Really? What kind of surgeon

A urologist!  I’m not from here really. I’m from (an obscenely wealthy community). I’m very complex and there’s so much more to me than you can possibly imagine. You are so hot!  Get to know me!  I am just staying here to be closer to my attorney since I’m in the middle of this really big deal lawsuit that has me in a gag order. I invented this procedure and the VA and Kaiser want to steal it from me.   I live at the (prestigious address of fancy lofts in town).

That sounds interesting…(I’m thinking at this point that he’s completely full of shit)  If I was Jewish, my mother would be very excited that you are a doctor! (lol. bad humor on my part. just kidding)

Would you like to go outside where we can talk?

Sure!  (Lets see what other bullshit you can try to bedazzle me with!)

While we didn’t mesh on our political views, I might have explored getting to know you because you just never know. Instead, I followed my gut and left with my friends in the limo without exchanging numbers. So glad that I followed my gut because it gave me time to Google stalk you when I got home.  Lionel, you were so full of shit and I’m so thankful for the wisdom that comes with age that I could see right through your routine!  It’s your dad with the same first name who is the surgeon. You don’t exist in the medical community.  Let’s pretend, in these modern times where we can Google stalk someone, that I’m just a woman of average intelligence and you are stupid.  Wait. You really are stupid.

Older and wiser (but still really hot!),

Pretend You AreeRachel