Welcome to the New Middle Ages

I am, officially, a middle-aged woman. There. I said it.   I’m out now.

In my mind and spirit I’m still very much “thirty-something” so it’s a bit hard to buy into that whole concept of  “act your age.”  What is “age” after a certain point anyways?  Milestones of 13, 18, 21, 55, and 65 earn us certain status, rights, and privileges and that’s all good and fine.  Other than that… it’s never meant a whole lot to me.

As I look back, I see life as a series of short stories and chapters.  For me, so far, there were the chapters of youth, young adulthood, assorted short relationships, and married with children.  Currently under construction are: unmarried and starting over, mentoring young adult children, looking after an aging parent, and (most exciting of all) re-inventing myself and creating the life I want to have instead of settling for the life that might just happen to me if don’t take control of the direction I want to take.  I’ve never been accused of having a lack of initiative or self-motivation!

After almost 22 years of marriage, I suddenly found myself having to adjust to a new way of life and all the changes thrust upon me.   The way of life and some of the identities that went with it (wife and homemaker) were ripped from me as I walked out the door that fateful day. Instead of being a wife and homemaker, I simply became Rachel again.  How liberating!  …but who was Rachel anymore?  I began to think of that question a lot as I pondered what my choices were, and not only how I was going to survive but also thrive.

I know I’m not alone in facing all the issues that inevitably come with being a woman who is getting older:  Physical, emotional, circumstantial, familial roles… these are all areas of our lives that will change drastically for us (ready or not!) and I find that out more and more every day as I meet and talk with other women who are, like me, women of the middle ages.